Episode Review: GLEE, "All or Nothing"

It's Regionals time again on Glee! Over the last couple of seasons the competition episodes have been hit or miss, and I have to say that "All or Nothing" fell more in the latter category this time around.

Brittany had a mini-meltdown after meeting with MIT because she was given early admittance and didn't know how to handle the change. Blaine insisted on proposing to Kurt in spite of objections from Sam, but it all worked out in the end because Trouty Mouth flipped flopped on Klaine was guided by a mystical lesbian couple. Unique came out as Ryder's catfish, New Directions won again with a Marley original, and Will and Emma finally got married among their students instead of their families. Oh, and Rachel sang a Celine Dion song for her Funny Girl audition.

Really, I don't have much to say about this one. I thought that the whole "Blaine and Kurt find role models" storyline a bit much despite of the fact that I support the message, and it really didn't help the initial misguidedness of the proposal. I'm glad the catfish arc is over because it wasn't the best idea to begin with, so let's move on. The Wemma wedding was classic Glee meaning that the over-sentimentality took away some of the umph but I'm happy they finally tied the knot.

While most of the episode didn't work, I did think that Brittany's send-off was handled fairly well. Her tantrum was worth a few laughs, and I'm all for new installments of Fondue for Two, but it was her goodbye that reminded me why I watch this show. Those final Brittana moments also made for some good TV.

Other Odds and Ends:

• I know that I haven't been a fan of NYC, but Rachel's audition was so tacked on that it felt out of place.
• When was the last time we saw Joe and Sugar?
• So young homosexual marriage is OK but young heterosexual marriage isn't? Are double standards signs of progress?
• Brittany's "Will vs. Sue" diatribe sums up this show in a nutshell.
• Of course it was Unique. Yawn.
• These judges are getting out of control.
• Sugar cracks me up.
• That final shot of Brittany on the stage by herself almost made up for everything else.
• Having Regionals as the season finale at this point of the game probably didn't help because it contributed to everything feeling a big skewed.
• "I mean he wants to do me but we're just friends."
• "You do want to do me!"
• Musical Highlight: "Rainbow Connection"

Overall, I felt that "All or Nothing" really didn't feel like it was all-or-nothing and that hurt the episode since it was the season finale. It kind of just felt like another outing of Glee and that wasn't quite good enough.

Last Episode: "Wonder-ful" >>

<< Next Episode: "Love, Love, Love"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Wonder-ful"

After a stretch of downer and/or disappointing episodes, Glee came back with what felt like an old-school offering in "Wonder-ful" with it's fun songs and uplifting storylines, but it also miscalculated how much we care about those at the center.

It's apparently a new tradition for former members of New Directions to return to Lima in order to coach the newbies because Mercedes and Mike came back to whip the gleeks into shape... again. Mercedes did her part by stroking the egos of Marley and Jake, but hers was shattered when a record deal she had vanished because of her looks. Of course she didn't let it get her down though. Elsewhere in Ohio, we were reminded that Burt had cancer (but he's in remission) and Blaine asked him for Kurt's hand in marriage. And there was a bit about Kitty pushing Artie to follow his dreams of being a filmmaker.

In New York, Rachel prepared for her Funny Girl callback, and for some reason that meant Cassandra July was back to torment her... until she surprised her with some NYADA rite of passage and admitted that she was only hard on her because she saw so much potential in Miss Berry.

Honestly, I should've liked "Wonder-ful" more than I did because it did try to recapture some of the magic that made Glee special in the first place, but I could not muster any emotion for those who drove the action. I've never liked Artie, so why should I care about his relationship with his mother? And don't get me started on the mismatch of him and Kitty. Mercedes has been so underdeveloped that I didn't buy her "record deal" for a second. My disinterest in everything New York has been well established, so I'll skip that plotline altogether. Ugh.

Other Odds and Ends:

• I'm sure plenty of people complained, but Will being Rachel's first call does make some sense and reminds us that teachers can be extremely influential and important. I liked that moment.
• Another Brittany-less week, but Heather Morris has more important things to take care of at the moment.
• Is everyone going to end up in New York?
• What a waste of Gemma Teller Morrow.
• I'm at least glad the show was self-aware enough to mention what a trainwreck the Finchel wedding was, and yet here we go with a Klaine one. Does this show ever learn?
• Musical Highlight: "I Wish"

It's not like "Wonder-ful" was a bad episode because I was able to respect what it was trying to do. It's just a shame that the writers tried so hard to turn formerly insignificant characters into important ones seemingly out of nowhere. They had three seasons to make us care about Artie and Mercedes, and they wasted their opportunities. Why try to make up for lost time now?

Last Episode: "Lights Out" >>

<< Next Episode: "All or Nothing"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Lights Out"

This f-ing show.

I should've known that "Lights Out" was going to be a hot mess when it was revealed that Ryan Murphy penned in, but things never change because while there was a lot I disliked about this one, I couldn't help but fall for some of the tricks. All that said, this was probably one of the most disappointing episode of Glee yet.

A week-long power outage prompted "unplugged" week, but the stripped down theme transcended the music because it allowed Ryder to open up to the glee club since he wasn't sure if "Katie" would reveal the dark secrets he shared with "her." He came clean and admitted that he was molested as a child, and while some reacted immaturely, Kitty related and a new bond (and possible ship) was formed. Too bad for her, he was still hung up on a person he never met.

Meanwhile, NYC was all about ballet for some reason, and Santana decided to take some dance classes while she figured out what she wanted to do with her life. Oh, and Sue started her new career as a personal trainer and refused to go back to coaching in spite of Becky's pleas to return to McKinley, but we all know she will.

For the longest time, I've defended Glee and brushed off the criticisms when people called it too "after school special," but I don't know if I can do that after watching "Lights Out." Ryder's secret was so out of left field that it was hard for me to take it seriously, which was a shame since child molestation shouldn't be a subject that gets glossed over. Things were not helped by the fact that we got tone deaf reactions from Sam and Artie about how any boy would have loved to be fondled by a teenage girl, but was more insulting was the fact that everything came to a screeching halt. Ryder didn't confront Artie and Sam about how he really felt, and nothing was really resolved when it was all said and done. Sure, it could be argued that this is Glee being Glee, but the half-assed approach really irked me this time around.

And don't get me started on the utter waste of time that was New York.

Yet, there were a few beats that I found somewhat entertaining. I liked the acoustic/Stomp-inspired/acapella spin on some of the songs, and I'm not inherently against Ryder and Kitty getting some character development . Heck, I even think sexual abuse is be a subject that could be effectively explored by a show like Glee... just not Glee.

Other Odds and Ends:

• Naya Rivera's great, but I cannot muster any emotion for Santana as a character.
• After "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'," I thought this was going to be a Sam-centric episode. Classic bait and switch.
• Brittany ceased to be one of my favorite characters a while ago, but HeMo was missed.
• Oh yeah, Vogue.com was a thing that happened.
• Putting together a love letter to ballet should've been right up Glee's alley, but it was such a colossal miss.
• I really wasn't surprised by Artie's reaction to Ryder's news because he's always been a pig, but I was pissed that Ryan Murphy threw Sam under the bus for a cheap joke.
• Kitty and Ryder could work.
• I'm sure A Chorus Line is great and all, but "At the Ballet" went on way too long and sucked all of the wind out of the sails. It might go down as my least favorite musical moment ever.
• Musical Highlight: "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'"

Stumbling on an important topic, a giant time-suck of a B-plot, and an overall cluelessness combined to give us one of the more aggravating episodes of the season, but it still wasn't enough to convince me to turn on the show. At this point, I don't know if anything will cause me to give up on it completely.

Last Episode: "Sweet Dreams" >>

<< Next Episode: "Wonder-ful"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Sweet Dreams"

Everyone was finally taking steps towards their dreams in the aptly titled "Sweet Dreams," which ended up being a largely serviceable episode of Glee with a few questionable moments... so, it was just another episode of Glee.

Finn got out of McKinley but he didn't get too far because he decided to enroll at the University of Lima so he could become a teacher. He quickly found out that college doesn't have to be a scary place, and it could even be fun, but he spent too much time partying it up and not enough time studying. Puck magically appearing out of nowhere didn't help much, but leave it to Finn's best bro to help him realize that balance's key to being successful in college.

Finn was not the only one trying to move forward. Will tried to whip the glee club into shape, but he was clearly changed after the ordeal involving his fiance and his best man. He was wildly out of touch, and he had to deal with the added annoyance of everyone having sudden changes in mood after the "shooting." When Blaine tried to rally the troops, he was shot down by Schue, but the reigning Teacher of the Year realized that something was off. He tried to make amends with Finn, but his protege was too busy having fun and refused to return to McKinley. Luckily for him, he remembered why he got into coaching glee in the first place after watching some of the kids sing an original Marley Rose jam. Finn also wised up and came back but only if he was Will's partner. When it was all said and done, Schue was refocused and thought it'd be a good idea to use one of Marley's songs for Regionals.

Oh, and Rachel auditioned for Funny Girl while Roz Washington showed up to take over the Cheerios and Becky acted all funny.

While watching "Sweet Dreams," I couldn't help but think that there's a halfway decent version of Glee that revolved around Finn and Puck as frat guys who occasionally sang acapella. Like a mash-up of Greek and The Sing-Off, and honestly that'd be my favorite version of this show. College is the natural next step when it comes to these kind of shows, and Glee could really capitalize on the change of location especially if it doesn't take things too seriously like the aforementioned ABC Family cult classic. Knowing this show, it will somehow figure out a way to mess things up and force Finn to NYC, but I think Murphy and Company finally solved the Season Five conundrum. Sam and Brittany join Finn at U of Lima, Blaine goes to NYADA, we get more time with the newbies, and Will gets fired for doing lame cartwheels. Easy as that.

As for Rachel's audition, it was nice seeing the OG's together again on stage, but I could not care less about anything that happened in New York. What else is new?

Other Odds and Ends:

• THE University of Lima.
• I let Glee slide on a lot of stuff, but as someone who's worked in higher education for over ten years, Finn just enrolling in college irked me. They could've at least said that the school was on the quarter system and the new term started in March or something.
• Sam being his own twin was pretty entertaining.
• Are Sugar and Joe going to be MIA until the competition episode?
• I'd say it was nice to have Roz back, but we all know Sue'll be back before the season's over.
• And Shelby's back for no apparent reason. At least her Broadway daycare business was a stroke of genius.
• I'm sorry, buy Marley's original songs were too musical theatre-y.
• Aww, Finchel.
• Great Finn & Puck scene.
• Was that a "Grilled Cheesus" callback?
• OK, Roz's oath was pretty great.
• Of course Will played soccer.
• "Or a song about loving an octoroon."
• "We've always known we were special. This is our chance to prove it."
• Musical Highlight: "Don't Stop Believin'"

A few seasons ago, I probably would've taken an episode like "Sweet Dreams" to task, but it was a decent enough installment compared to the ones that preceded it, and that's a victory unto itself. Plus, it actually got me excited for what's to come even if my dream version of the show only exists in my head. Not so bad if you ask me.

Last Episode: "Shooting Star" >>

<< Next Episode: "Lights Out"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Shooting Star"

Gah! I know that Glee can be extremely frustrating due to its inconsistencies, but "Shooting Star" was the first episode that I thought was truly stupid but still had things I liked that kept me from hating it all together.

Brittany had another end-of-the-world freak out which led to the week's lesson: last chances. This allowed Brit the opportunity to come clean to Lord Tubbington, Sam to express his feelings for her, Becky to confront her fears about leaving McKinley, Ryder to gain the nerve to seek out Katie, and Beiste to admit that she wanted to be with Will so she wouldn't be alone. When the world didn't end, it looked like everything was going to be fine until gun shots rang out. Naturally, everyone was freaked out but ultimately OK, and it was a reminder to be thankful for what you have.

The ordeal was caused by Sue, who was cleaning the gun she brought to school for protection, but Figgins had no choice but to let her go. Will wasn't buying Sue's story, and it turned out that Becky was the one who had the gun and it went off by accident. Since Sue wasn't going to let her favorite student be expelled, she took the fall.

Up until the gunfire, I was not feeling this episode at all. Brittany's shtick has run its course, and I didn't find anything she did amusing in the slightest, but I was thankful that we got some sweetness between her and Sam. The whole catfishing thing wasn't even interesting when it happened to Manti Te'o, so I could've cared less that it was happening to Ryder, although I am curious to see who's behind it all. Then everything changed when the gun went off.

The sequence that took place in the choir room, the girl's bathroom, and outside by the school buses was probably the most riveting thing Glee's ever put together. While I never once thought that anyone major was in serious danger, I was still on the edge of my seat as the metronome ticked away. And the moment when Will called out Brittany's name made my heart stop. So good. It's just a shame that the episode couldn't keep the momentum going.

Instead of having a serious look at school violence, Sue was tapped as the patsy, and it turned into a tone deaf debate about armed teachers in classrooms. It shouldn't surprise me that a Ryan Murphy show would take any opportunity to jump on a soapbox, but the message didn't land because I was too busy thinking about how interesting the alternate version of the episode would've been. Granted, having Sue take the fall for Becky was a nice twist, but pinning such an important storyline on a relatively marginal character didn't quite work. Honestly, it all would've been more effective if some random person was behind it all, and it mirrored the real issues in our schools instead of having a scared and confused Becky bring a gun for no logical reason. Such potential once again wasted by Glee.

Other Odds and Ends:

• Brad's back!
• I liked Marissa. I hope we see her again.
• Having the band react to Ryder being catfished was odd even by Glee's standards.
• I HATED the dinner scene between Beiste and Will because it was so cringe-worthy and unnecessary.
• Silliness involving fat cats aside, this was a strong episode for both Heather Morris and Chord Overstreet.
• Musical Highlight: "Say"

Leave it Glee to mess up a hot-topic episode while still having enough good moments to keep me from completely writing the whole thing off.

Last Episode: "Guilty Pleasures" >>

<< Next Episode: "Sweet Dreams"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Guilty Pleasures"

This week, Glee pushed the pause button on the Will/Emma/Finn drama and allowed the other characters indulge in their guiltiest of pleasures in an episode that was one of the better outings of the latter half of Season 4 but still paled in comparison to earlier attempts.

In Lima, Will's out sick so Blaine and Sam came up with "guilty pleasures" week as an assignment so the gleeks could open up to one another and build bonds before Regionals. It was also a way for Kitty to do some image rehabilitation by letting her guard down for a brief moment. For some reason we also got a lecture on Chris Brown, but that unpleasantness was counterbalanced with a great Blam storyline that allowed Blaine to open up about his feelings to Sam who was totally OK with them.

Meanwhile, Santana continued on her mission to open up Rachel's eyes about Brody but Kurt wanted to keep a lid on the truth since Miss Berry had so much on her plate. And for some reason he had a creepy sex doll which was only a chest and an arm. Of course, Santana couldn't keep her mouth shut for very long and she spilled the beans, which led to the break-up of Rachel and Brody.

I'm sure readers are getting tired of me complaining about NYC because I'm tired of harping on it, but the entire Rachel/Brody/Santana debacle was boring and it dragged the episode down a few pegs. I just do not care about these characters anymore or about their adventures in the big city, and it's too bad that we're probably in store for more of these tone deaf plotlines if Glee continues on for another season. After everything I've put up with, that would probably be the final straw.

On the flipside, I got a kick out of the Lima stuff (except for the unnecessary Chris Brown debate) mostly because it centered around a relationship that I do care about: Blaine and Sam. Pairing these two up was by far the best development of Season 4, and I'm glad that we got more of it as the year winds down. Plus, we got another episode of "Fondue for Two" which finally took a step towards humanizing Kitty. Fun stuff all around.

Other Odds and Ends:

• I love it that Sam's a pasta art savant.
• Sam called out Tina for vapo-raping Blaine! Nice!
• Has Glee ever done a pure '80s pop episode yet that wasn't dedicated to one artist?
• Sam coming out of the Fanilow closet was some of the best stuff this show's done this season.
• Blaine should always play the piano while singing.
• I wish Jake stuck to his guns and sang Chris Brown or was at least aware of the fact that Bobby Brown was just as bad.
• What was with the random Small Wonder shout-out?
• The breath mint gag was the biggest laugh of the season.
• At least it wasn't as out of nowhere as "Mamma Mia."
• Musical Highlights: "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" and "Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)"
• "You shut your mouth!"

"Guilty Pleasures" may not have been the best episode of the season, but it was mostly fun and entertaining and sometimes that's enough. Count it.

Last Episode: "Feud" >>
<< Next Episode: "Shooting Star"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Feud"

Since everyone's fighting on Glee, I expected an over-dramatic episode (which it was), but I have to admit that there were a few a moments that I enjoyed, so I guess I cannot complain.

Much like this week's Justified, there were so many "feuds" going on, that I figured it'd be easier to break everything down by match-up.

Will vs. Finn
Will's still upset because Finn kissed Emma, and he took the petty route by making Finn do grunt work and making him jealous by praising Ryder. Of course, the only way to handle the tension was to sing about it, so New Directions assigned them to sing songs from famous musical rivals. At first, Finn just wanted to talk things out, but Will wasn't having it and delivered a low-blow by admitting that he only let Finn take over New Directions because he pitied him. The sing-off was on, and it was Backstreet Boys vs. N'Sync, but Will still wasn't ready to forgive Finn, so the latter decided to leave McKinley once and for all. As Finn gathered his stuff, Marley came by to say thank you before laying some hard truth on Mr. Hudson. She told him that he's a born leader who doesn't need to prove anything to Schue, and she even planted the idea that he should become a teacher.

Now, this is going to sound disingenuous  but I've been kicking around the idea of Finn becoming a teacher since he returned to Lima, and I think this could be the best move Glee could make. He's been Will's successor since the early days of the show, and his guidance made watching New Directions fun again. If this show's built for the long-haul (which I don't think it is, but that's for another day), then Finn becoming a teacher and taking over glee club down the line's a natural fit. Sure, it has a Screech goes back to Bayside feel to it, but they've already introduced the idea, so why not go full blast. As for the feud itself, I get why Will's mad but I just don't care at the point because he's kind of worn out his welcome (and that's coming from a longtime Will supporter). The sooner he's written out and Finn takes over, the better.

Ryder vs. Unique & Jake
In the card's handicap match, Ryder not only had to make things right with Jake for kissing Marley, but he also had to smooth things over with Unique since he messed with her girl and was insensitive towards her identity. You see, Ryder couldn't accept Unique as a girl since she's biologically a boy, and made a fuss of it after their feud assignment. Thankfully, he learned his lesson due to a mystery girl he met online and he asked Unique, Jake and Marley for forgiveness. It looked like things were going to be OK, but Unique came clean about being harrassed by some mean girls, and the calvary (including Kitty for some reason) circled the wagons around her.

Honestly, the writers are not doing Blake Jenner any favors by blatantly making him Finn 2.0/Will 3.0 because it robs him of being a character on his own. Heck, he they even had him playing a ukulele AND the drums during this episode. It doesn't get any more overt than that. And the fact that Murphy and Co. are making him a copy of a copy wasn't even the worst of it because Glee once again admitted that it hates "nice" guys by having Ryder be a jerk to Unique after he kissed his boy's girlfriend. So annoying! That said, I am intrigued by his mystery girl and fingers crossed that she turns out to be The Glee Project's Nellie.

Santana vs. Brody
In spite of all the evidence that Santana found that pointed to Brody being a drug dealer, Rachel was still not willing to believe her even though she wasn't sure how she felt about him. Since it's Santana, she refused to give up until everyone saw things her way, so she confronted him at NYADA and busted out some Paula Abdul. This bold move didn't go over well with Rachel and Kurt, so they kicked her out, but she got her revenge by exposing his secret life as a gigolo and called Finn in to beat him up.

I'm just going to say it; this Brody storyline is the worst thing Glee's ever come up with and that's saying something. First off, he's still not a fleshed-out character and has pretty much been a plot device since the start of the season. Now, usually I wouldn't care about his insignificance, but the show thinks his presence means more than it really does, and it's getting annoying. Honestly, I'm not going to care when Rachel breaks up with him... at all. And it's kind of a shame because Rachel being with someone else should've been interesting, but leave it to this group of writers to completely miss the boat. Back to Santana, I'd like to think that she's out of the loft for good but we cannot be that lucky. And when did Finn join the C.I.A. because his random appearance in NYC was some serious Homeland stuff.

Blaine vs. Sue
Sue needed Blaine to be in the Cheerios, so she blackmailed him into re-joining by pulling out a fake contract that he signed or something. Obviously, with it being feud week they had their own sing-off. This time it was Mariah Carey vs. Nicky Minaj. Somehow Sue won, so Blaine was forced to be on the Cheerios, but it turned out that he and Sam had planned it so he could take Sue down from the inside.

At first, I really hated this particular sub-plot because it made absoutley no sense whatsoever. Now, I know that I shouldn't expect Glee to make any sense after some of the stunts it's pulled, but I can usually suspend disbelief long enough to just go with it. I wasn't able to this time around because Sue feuding with Blaine was so out of nowhere that I couldn't compute. Yet, the swerve at the end salvaged the entire thing even though I don't understand Sam and Blaine's motivation at this point, but I can let that slide.

Other Odds and Ends:

• Even though I'm not loving the spat between Will and Finn, the scene where Will took a verbal swipe at Finn was brutal and definitely the highlight of the episode.
• I'm shocked that took Glee this long to get to "Cold Hearted."
• Another high point: Finn and Marley. That's a bond I wish we had spent more time on, and hopefully this wasn't it for them.
• What was with that dream sequence involving an actual fight between Finn and Will? It was just odd.
• I liked how the episode hung a lampshade on the fact that the newbies will be the future of New Directions, and I'd much rather have them be the focus of Season 5 than an all New York season.
• Can we get away from the cheerleaders threatening to deny their true feelings in the real world? It's just lazy.
• Finn's "future wife" bit was too much.
• "Dude, you really need to grow a pair."

I'll admit that some of the good will that Season 4 cultivated early on has been spent, and these last couple of episodes are largely to blame, but I'm still entertained by Glee at the end of the day. Yes, "Feud" wasn't the show's best effort, but I got a kicked out of some of it, and I'm OK with that for now.

Last Episode: "Girls (and Boys) on Film" >>

<< Next Episode: "Guilty Pleasures"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Girls (and Boys) On Film"

After a few weeks off the air, Glee's back with "Girls (and Boys) On Film." Honestly, I was fully prepared to dislike this one because "movies" as a theme felt lazy even by this show's standards, but at the end of the day it was a pretty typical episode of Glee, which is to say that there were some good things and stuff that just didn't work.

Will woke up after a Fred Astaire inspired dream and decided that movies would be a good way to prepare the glee clubbers for Regionals, so he assigned them to sing songs from movies in the annual girls vs. boys mash-off. While Will was distracting himself with work, Finn took it upon himself to help find Emma so his friend could win her back. He and Artie even tricked Emma's parents into help by posing as members of an anti-ginger bullying club. Schue showed up to where she was at, did his best Lloyd Dobler impression, and it looked like things were going to work out until Finn confessed that he kissed Miss Pillsbury.

Meanwhile, Rachel and Kurt had to put up with Santana now that she's squatting in their apartment and stirring up trouble like messing with their relationships with Brody and Adam respectively. She also confronted Rachel about a pregnancy test she found while going through their stuff, and cue the tear-filled breakdown. Also, Marley was trying to figure out who she liked more: Jake or Ryder.

If you remove the utterly useless theme-of-the-week, there were some things I actually liked about this one. I've been on pins and needles waiting for Finn to finally come clean to Will, and I thought that their final scene worked as Will just walked away in disgust, but we all know this is far from over. Heck, I even liked the love triangle moments involving Marley, even though it's hard to truly feel for a cute girl picking between two good looking guys while Sugar has to settle for Artie. Is it all cliched and contrived? Sure, but I'm genuinely interested to see where things go from here.

But alas, "Girls (and Boys) On Film" was not immune from the season-crippling virus that's New York City. I know I'm beyond broken record territory, but I hated pretty much every scene that transpired in the Big Apple. First and foremost, Santana needs to move back to Kentucky because her presence only dragged down this side of the Glee-verse, and I didn't even know that was possible. Also, I'm already over the Rachel pregnancy stuff and Brody being a drug dealer/gigolo/whatever. So stupid. OK, I'll admit that I found Adam charming, and I'm pulling for him over Blaine at this point. Actually, I think I'm pulling for Adam AND Blaine over either of them ending up with Kurt. Rant over.

Other Odds and Ends:

• I'm sure "honest Injun" was faithful to something, but I couldn't help but cringe a little.
• That said, I'm always a sucker for those spinning-axis set numbers.
• Wow, that was HeMo's booty.
• Artie and Finn as redheads!
• The Tom Cruise mash-up was brilliant while the girls pretty much ripped off Moulin Rouge! verbatim.
• We all know I love the self-aware humor, so Will shining a spotlight on how awkward it would be to talk to Emma with his students standing around was one of the biggest laughs of the night if not the entire season.
• On that note, did New Directions need to accompany him if he had the boombox? He could've just pressed play.
• Lea Michele really is a bad crier.
• Watching Sugar get upset because of the tie was another highlight.
• "Footloose" was fun, but was it really the right song to go out on?
• Musical Highlight: "Shout"
• "We should do The Artist so we don't have to sing."
• "The kids at this school don't even seem to think about what college they want to go to until about a week before graduation. That's weird. You're supposed to figure that out when you're a junior."
• "Boys are like lumps of coal. They're dirty and cheap, and they get hot when they're rubbed, and some turn into diamonds. So collect as many as you can."

Maybe it's because I was prepared for the worst, but "Girls (and Boys) On Film" was not a total trainwreck. It wasn't all that great either, but it could've been a lot worst, and in the end I was happy that it was just a middling version of what this show's been for sometime now.

Last Episode: "I Do" >>

<< Next Episode: "Feud"

Episode Review: GLEE, "I Do"

Like a lot of Glee episodes, there was so much to like about "I Do," but those moments were undercut with some odds choices that didn't quite make sense and kept me from loving the entire thing.

It's time for Will and Emma to get married, but things were not going so smoothly especially after Finn decided to kiss Miss Pillsbury. Yet, that kiss may have been a blessing in disguise because Emma was clearly not ready to marry Will and it may have helped realize that fact. So, she ended up leaving him at the alter while Finn and Rachel hooked up, Blaine and Kurt hooked up, Artie and the wheechair girl from The Glee Project hooked up, Jake and Marley almost hooked up, and Quinn and Santana hooked up. Yes, you read that last bit correctly. At the end of it all, Finn tried to cheer up Will while Rachel returned to New York to be lied to by Brody, and freak out about possibly being knocked up.

OK, I'll admit that I was really enjoying this episode up until the last ten to fifteen minutes. I thought that Jake's wooing of Marley with the help of Ryder was cute up until the moment Schuester 3.0 decided to give in to his emotions and kissed his buddy's girl. Even all of the rekindled couples had their charms, and we got a badass moment where Finn told Rachel that they'll always be together no matter where she is or who she's with. The thing is all of that good will was squashed the second the episode hinted at the Quinntana hook-up, which came off as shock for shock's sake while also being terribly clichéd. And don't get me started of Rachel's pregnancy tests because we all know this show sucks at any storyline involving babies. Just when I had hope that Glee had turned itself around...

Other Odds and Ends:

• The boys Motown routine in red tuxes was an instant classic.
• Out of all of the Glee Project alums, why was Ali the one to get a guest spot? I would've rather seen Ellie (who should play Ryder's girlfriend), or Aylin, or Cameron, or the Country Fried Blonde, or pretty much anyone else.
• At least last week's ickiest moment had an awesome payoff. Vapo-rape!
• Speaking of Miss Tina Cohen-Chang, I really do hope we're done with her crush on Blaine.
• Sam standing in the middle of the bouquet toss was pretty brilliant.
• I did get a kick out of that sequence that used one set for three different scenes.
• Which set of shippers were more upset: Faberry or Brittana?
• I honestly don't know why Ryan Murphy hates good, unassuming, straight guys. First he ruined Will, then he assassinated Finn's character, and now he's onto Ryder. Why even bother at this point?
• Even though this episode irked me at times, I am excited to see what happens next. It sucks that we'll have to wait three weeks.
• Musical Highlight: "You're All I Need to Get By"
• "Not everything is about you."

I know that this is getting old, but Glee once again squandered an opportunity by taking one extra step too many. Had "I Do" resisted to use one unnecessary twist (i.e. lipstick lesbians), then it would've been one of the better episodes of the season. But of course this show's a victim of its own worst habits, so we'll have to settle for a good one instead.

Last Episode: "Diva" >>

<< Next Episode: "Girls (and Boys) On Film"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Diva"

For most of Season 4, Glee has been able to re-focus itself and return to being the show that I started liking in the first place, but you could actually see it going off the rails again during "Diva." Now, I'll give the episode credit for not being one of the worst offerings to date, but it was a step back for a show that cannot afford these kind of slip-ups.

The biggest issue I had with "Diva" was it caused Glee to regress back to its Season 1 and 2 state where the hour was jam-packed with too many storylines, songs, and uncomfortable moments. Honestly, it should've been titled "Cringe" because that's pretty much what I did the entire time while watching it. Let's just run through what actually happened: Finn and Emma came up with "diva" week as a make-shift "boys vs. girls" lesson, Kurt challenged Rachel to a diva-off because of her ego, Tina continued her ill-fated crush on Blaine as she nursed him back to health, Santana dropped out of UL and returned to Lima so she could break up Sam and Brittany before moving to New York. Oh, and Finn was feeling lonely so he kissed Emma to calm her down as she freaked out about her upcoming wedding to Will.

OK, to be fair that's probably not too many plotlines for Glee, but each and every one of them felt unfocused, and it didn't help that most of them were shocking for shock's sake and ended up hurting characters instead of helping them, which ultimately led to a very messy and frustrating installment. Out of all of the craziness that transpired, the most insulting aspect was the moment Finn kissed Emma because it was wholly inappropriate, downright icky, and it undermined all of the progress he's made this season. I've always claimed that Ryan Murphy and Co. hate "nice guys" which is why we've been conditioned to dislike Will, so it shouldn't shock me that the writers would finally take Finn to similar levels of assholiness, but at least the transformation is complete. Ryder better watch out because he's next.

As for everything else, I was glad to see Kurt take Rachel down a few notches (and was really happy when he came clean about "Defying Gravity"), but let's just hope the lesson sticks and we're not subjected to her gigantic ego for a few weeks. All of the Santana/Brittany/Sam drama was OK but just another pit-stop on Santana's road to New York, so it felt kind of meaningless. And Tina's just sad at this point.

Other Odds and Ends:

• Did they really need to interrupt Emma's Cheesecake Factory story for a piss-poor pop song?
• At least Marley and Kitty were smoking during "Diva."
• I actually missed Marley, Jake, Ryder and Kitty. Heck, I would've even taken a Joe storyline over most of the ones that we got.
• The only thing that was more cringe-worthy than Finn kissing Emma was Tina straddling and rubbing an unconscious Blaine's bare chest. Sure, there was some context but still... eww.
• Is it mandatory that everyone wear a hat when they move to NYC?
• Musical Highlight: "Don't Stop Me Now"

I guess what it comes down to is I didn't hate "Diva," but I was very disappointed by it because Season 4's been so good up until now, and this episode along with last week's has me scared that Glee's back to its bad habits. That said, I haven't given up on it yet and things will have to really go off the deep end before I ditch it. Until then, I'll keep my fingers cross that it gets it all of of its system, does some damage control, and goes back to being solid entertainment. I'm crazy, right?

Last Episode: "Naked" >>

<< Next Episode: "I Do"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Naked"

As the title suggest, Glee talked a lot about being both physically and emotionally "naked" because this was a Ryan Murphy penned script and everything needs to be more complicated than necessary, which is another way of saying that this felt more like a late-Season 1 episode than one of the more coherent ones that we've been getting.

The Warlbers were officially disqualified from Regionals and New Directions was given their spot, but their lack of preparation has put them behind and they're short on cash to get them to the competition. Since Finn's nothing more than a mini-Schuester, he wanted to bring back the bake sale, but Tina tossed out the idea of a Men of McKinley calendar as a thinly veiled excuse to see Blaine half-naked. For some reason, Finn went along with it, but not everyone was happy about the idea except for Artie who was ashamed of his body.

Someone who wasn't afraid to bare it all was Sam, who used his body as a source of self-worth since he didn't have the test scores to get into college, and he figured all he had to offer was his physique. A concerned Blaine stepped in and tried to remind Sam that he's more than a rocking bod and a set of lips, and he even asked Emma to help him get the message across. When Sam wasn't able to articulate what he accomplished in high school, his best bro saved the day again by showing him a video of his friends recalling his greatest hits like saving the glee club multiple times and being a stand-up guy.

Elsewhere, Marley and Jake were contemplating taking the next step in their relationship by admitting their true feelings for one another. After singing a romantic duet together, Marley was close to saying the magic words but couldn't. Jake got some advice from Ryder about what to do, but ended up declaring his love in song instead of words. But when push came to shove, Jake declared his love by writing "I Love You" in Marley's calendar, and she finally came around to returning the gesture.

Oh, and Rachel struggled over taking her top off in a student film until Quinn and Santana popped in to set her straight.

I know that this is going to be repetitive and boring, but once again I only cared about what was going on in Lima. Blam has been one of the best things Glee's given us over the last two seasons, so I was a sucker for anything and everything that had to do with Sam and Blaine. Their friendship has been the guiding light that the show's been lacking, and I just hope the writers don't mess it up with the inevitable admission of feelings and the awkwardness that could follow. Plus, it was nice having a serious Sam episode again.

As for everything else, Marley and Jake are cute enough but I was shocked by how quickly they jumped to love. Yes, this is Glee where logic gets tossed out of the window on a weekly basis, but this move came out of nowhere and probably won't last knowing this show. That said, I'm at least glad that the episode acknowledged Jake's rivalry with Ryder and how they've been able to put it behind them. And I'm just going to bypass the Rachel plot altogether.

Other Odds and Ends:

• The joke about Hunter looking too old to be in high school was an example of Glee at its best. I love that self-deprecating humor which is why I'm still watching The New Normal.
• Rod Remington!
• Am I the only one rooting for a Kitty and Joe hook-up?
• Fondue for Two!
• I'm sorry, but "Torn" was trying way too hard to be deep and moving. It was nice seeing the old Rachel though.
• Jake's reaction to being spray tanned was pretty priceless.
• Finn's aversion to coffee will always be funny.
• I know it's a cheap sight gag, but a box of Rooter O's covering Brody's junk was kind of clever.
• Like I said, Jake and Marley are cute enough, but they cannot compete with Blake and Nellie when it comes to singing love songs on an empty stage.
• Kudos to Glee for highlighting male body image issues... again.
• I'm all for more Santana, but putting her in NYC would be lazy.
• I'm not ashamed to admit that the video Blaine made for Sam made me tear up.
• Musical Highlight: "This is the New Year"

I suppose "Naked" wasn't a bad episode per se, but Murphy couldn't help but hammer us over the head with the theme, so I had flashbacks to "Funk" and that's not a good thing. Having the characters say "naked" a hundred times didn't help either, but all in all it had some entertaining moments and could have been worse. Sometimes that's a win unto itself when it comes to Glee.

Last Episode: "Sadie Hawkins" >>

<< Next Episode: "Diva"

Episode Review: GLEE, "Sadie Hawkins"

After being on hiatus for almost a month-and-a-half, Glee finally returned with "Sadie Hawkins" which wasn't a groundbreaking episode but was still fun enough to keep me happy.

A bitter Tina decided that it would be a good idea for McKinley to throw a Sadie Hawkins dance as a way to prep for prom and to teach boys a lesson, and because she had a crush on Blaine and needed an excuse to ask him out. The catch was Blaine also had a crush... on Sam. Speaking of the Stallions MVP, he was convinced that the Warblers were up to no good, and he and Blaine dug up some proof that they were on steroids. Finn wasn't willing to pursue to lead until Trent showed up to possibly testify against his teammates. Elsewhere, Jake and Puck had their hands full with Marley and Kitty (respectively), Kurt was flirting with the leader of NYADA's show choir, and Rachel showed up to ruin everything.

In terms of major storyarcs, nothing really happened in "Sadie Hawkins" except more of the same old stuff. Someone's secretly in love with the one person they cannot have, but that doesn't stop the feelings from coming and so forth and so on. The thing is, in spite of the lack of any real plot development, I had a blast watching the episode because it was light and fun. I know that extensive serialized storytelling's the hallmark of good television nowadays, but sometimes taking a breath and putting together something that doesn't take itself too seriously can be equally as effective. Just as long as Lea Michele's not involved.

OK, that was an unfair jab, especially since I like Lea as an actress and have resisted to jump on the "We Hate Rachel Berry" bandwagon for four seasons now, but lately episodes come to a screeching halt every time Rachel shows up on screen. I don't care about her and Brody. I don't care that she thinks she's one of the cool kids now. I don't care about her and Brody. I don't care that she's neglecting Kurt (even though he probably deserves it). I don't care about her and Brody. And I really don't care about them living together. So, so stupid. Maybe there's a way for Glee to redeem the character and the whole NYC arc, but for now I'm fine with tuning out every time the action leaves Ohio, which is a shame because I wouldn't be surprised if the Big Apple becomes the show's permanent location starting with Season 5. Whew! That felt good.

Other Odds and Ends:

• Inappropriate orderlies? Are we finally seeing the start of AHS seeping into Glee? When is Andrew Rannells showing up as a substitute glee club director? For the record, I want that to happen.
• Zizes!
• I don't for one second believe that Sugar would have problems finding a date.
• Ugh, I'm so tried of the "everything comes down to cliques" crutch.
• Neckbrace Cheerios has silently become my new favorite character.
• So, Glee became Pitch Perfect, which is kind of appropriate since the latter probably doesn't get made without the former.
• Can you really blame Blaine for crushing on Sam?
• Puckerman being the voice of reason and restraint?
• Noah and Kitty. Eww.
• I'll say it again, I'm a sucker for the boy band routines.
• Why does Bruno Mars have to ruin everything?
• Does this mean Trent will be joining New Directions soon? I hope so.
• Musical Highlight: "Tell Him"
• Ryder: "This must be what the girl's feel all the time."
  Brittany: "It is."
• Sugar: "I want to sit under Venus."
  Sam: "I want to sit under Uranus. What's so funny?"
• "And glee club is back! Blam!"
• Finn: "Yeah, he is kind of the sunshine of the group."
  Blaine: "Isn't he?"

"Sadie Hawkins" was one of those rare instances where going back to basics was a smart move because it took us on a somewhat drama-free ride and reminded me how fun watching Glee can be. Will it go down as one of the show's best? No, but why does it have to?

Last Episode: "Glee, Actually" >>

<< Next Episode: "Naked"

Top 5 TV Surprises of 2012

Now that I got my top five let-downs of 2012 out of the way, it's time to end things on a high note with some pleasant surprises that occurred over the past year.


3. Lost Girl

Honestly, I had never heard of Canada's Lost Girl until I started writing for The Televixen. Once I started reading all of the positive reviews over there, my curiosity was piqued and I was determined to check it out when it finally premiered in the States. I have to admit that it didn't blow me away out of the gates because it was another run-of-the-mill supernatural procedural like... Supernatural. My interest level in that specific genre started to wane, so I stopped watching it on Syfy but got back on board thanks to Netflix, and boy am I happy that I did. It's still not a groundbreaking show by any means, but it has all of the elements that I look for from this kind of show and it pulls them off fairly well. I can't really ask for any more than that.


4. Glee

As a longtime Glee apologist, I've forgiven Ryan Murphy and Co. for all of their previous sins, but I've also been able to acknowledge that the show hasn't been as good as it used to be (or even good at times). While I've never gotten close to writing the show off completely, I have lowered my expectations to the point where I rooted for mediocrity, so I was just as surprised when the show rebounded during Season 3 and actually improved early on in Season 4. OK, so the New York stuff hasn't been all that entertaining, but I've found myself caring about what's going on in Ohio, and it's been a while since I've felt so invested. Unfortunately, I cannot say that Glee's been able to recapture its former glory, but at least I'm not as ashamed to admit that I'm still a fan like I was during Season 2. Who am I kidding; I've never been ashamed.

3. The Walking Dead

It's been well documented that the first half of The Walking Dead's second season was mostly a bust, but the show was able to get back on track during the tail-end of its sophomore run. Thankfully, Glen Mazarra was able to keep the momentum going and the first part of Season 3 has been the show's best string of episodes to date. There's a possibility that the show will once again hit a snag now that it's been renewed without its current showrunner, but at least we'll get a few more episodes of the Mazarra-era Walking Dead. Let's just hope his successor can avoid another rough patch.

2. The Finder

I wasn't all that impressed when I watched Bones episode that acted as a backdoor pilot for The Finder. From the looks of it, Hart Hanson's new show was going to be a carbon copy of his old one, so my expectations were pretty low come last January. Then I actually watched the show, and it quickly grew on me. Sure, it was still a quirky procedural, but I didn't find Walter Sherman and his crew as annoying as Brennan and her Squints, and after a few episodes it was making me laugh more than most of the other shows that I was watching. Unfortunately, less than stellar ratings and a lack of confidence from the network doomed it, and The Finder was the first new show I watched that was canceled prematurely in my eyes. Man, I really miss it.

1. Chuck's Series Finale

OK, so this last one's kind of a cheat since we all knew that Chuck was coming back for a fifth season, but I felt the need to include it because there was a time when the thought of five seasons of Chuck was nothing more than a dream. Yet the little show that could was able to survive (mostly due to NBC's misfortune) and we even got a proper finale. It may not sound like much, but so many shows and its fans do not get that kind of luxury, so I felt blessed that the show that changed my life had the chance to go out on its own terms. There's a lot to feel cynical about when it comes to the television business, but Chuck's improbable run's not one of them and it's proof that good things can happen.

And that's it. My Top Five Lists of 2012 are done. Overall, I have to say that of 2012 was a pretty decent year, and let's hope that 2013 will be too.

TV Report Card: Week of December 9, 2012

There's no good excuse for the shoddiness of this week's TV Report Card. I was just lazy.

Sunday
Homeland: "In Memoriam"
Honestly, I can understand why this episode was so frustrating to some because it did continue to test plausability, but that's why I think I enjoyed more than others. I'm so tired of people complaining about this show that I've come to embrace and champion it silliness just to spite those who nit-pick. It once again was far from great, but I enjoyed it. GRADE: B-

Monday
How I Met Your Mother: "The Over-Correction"
I'm so tired of HIMYM wasting time patting itself on the back because of their clever terms like "over-correction." I don't doubt that there are douchey people out there who use these kind of things, but I wouldn't watch them week in and week out, so I don't know why I continue with this show. I also could've done without the return of the Playbook, Marshal and Lily's parents, and pretty much everything that happened during this episode. GRADE: D

Tuesday
Hart of Dixie: "Blue Christmas"
I've never been a fan of the "over-critical" parent visits episode, so I didn't really care for Zoe's mom showing up, but some of the Christmas themed antics were fun, and I appreciated the time spent on her and Wade. Elsewhere, I'm glad we're done with Lavon and Ruby for now, and George and Tansy continue to entertain. GRADE: B


Happy Endings: "To Serb with Love"
This wasn't my least favorite episode of Happy Endings, but it wasn't close to being one of the show's best. Everything was just too Sitcom 101 like the slap-stickiness of Jane's Gallagher bit, Dave and Alex keeping secrets, and Penny self-sabotaging herself with a list of Pete's faults. It's all been done before and better than this attempt. GRADE: C+


New Girl: "Santa"
The multiple holiday parties gimmick was fun for a bit, and I like how naturally Olivia Munn fits in on this show, although I was disappointed that we didn't get some kind of Perfect Couples mention since David Walton was also guest-starring. Speaking of Walton and Munn, why is this show wasting time with potential love interests that we all know will not last? Good stuff from Winston, but I'm still over Cece and Schmidt. GRADE: B-

Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23: "Bar Lies..."
I'll say it again, watching a Season 1 episode was distracting because it robbed the show of any narrative momentum. That said, I did get a few chuckles thanks to JVDB's DwtS stint and Chloe renting out his apartment while he was gone. GRADE: C+

Wednesday
Arrow: "Year's End"
Copycat plots can be interesting, and I actually liked what Arrow did with the trope, but it could've gone on a bit longer in spite of the fact that it was obvious who the dark archer was. So, I guess I should be thankful that the show did not unnecessarily string the audience along, but it could've been better executed. GRADE: B-

American Horror Story: Asylum: "The Coat Hanger"
After a crazy-bananas Christmas episode, AHS slowed things down by its standards with "The Coat Hanger" which didn't work as well as its predecessor but had its interesting moments. The idea of Sister Jude being captive in her own asylum could be interesting, as could Lana's miraculously unaborted baby. That said, present day Bloody Face hasn't captured the imagination just yet. GRADE: B-

Thursday
The Vampire Diaries: "O Come, All Ye Faithful"
As always, there were things I liked about this episodes and things I didn't. I'm still on board with the idea of Jeremy as a hunter and the possibilities that go along with Damon being his guide, but I dislike Elena so much at this point that I'm actually rooting for her brother to take her out. With no Elena, that means Stefan and Caroline can finally be together. Speaking of Caroline, why should I care about her and either Klaus or Tyler at this point. As for them, I still don't get why the hybrids are so important. GRADE: B-

Glee: "Glee, Actually"
Over the years, Glee's Christmas episodes have been a mixed bag, and while "Glee, Actually" was an improvement it still wasn't the show's best effort. Admittedly, I liked the Artie and Puckerman vignettes more than I should have, and the Sam/Brittany and Marley/Sue stuff was inoffensive in spite of the silliness, but the NYC story ruined the entire thing for me. GRADE: C+

Elementary: "The Leviathan"
Everyone knows that I'm a sucker for heists, so having Sherlock figure out how to break into a impenetrable safe was fun. I could've done without some of the cliched family scenes involving Watson, but overall it was a decent enough episode. GRADE: B-

Even though I didn't hate "Diamond in the Rough" as much as previous Modern Family episodes, I'm sticking to my promise to refrain from writing about the show. Like I said before, if it gets appreciably better, then I might add it back to the rotation, but for now I'm OK with taking a break from Modern Family.

Episode Review: GLEE, "Glee, Actually"

It's that time of the year when we get slammed with non-stop holiday episodes, and much like the rest of its track record, Glee's proven that it can be hit or miss when it comes to pulling off these attempts. While I didn't hate "A Very Glee Christmas" or "Extraordinary Merry Christmas," they were mostly unforgettable hours with the exception of a few highlights, and I was expecting the same from "Glee, Actually." I'll give the show some credit for showing improvement, but it also felt like another missed opportunity.

Like the previous two, "Glee, Actually" was an homage to a Christmas classic. Go ahead and guess which one? The set-up was spoon fed to the audience via Sue's journal (just in case people haven't seen Rick Grimes profess his love to Elizabeth Bennett before the zombie apocalypse.) It was going to be five separate stories that tied together in the end. Admirable enough, but could Glee pull it off?

Since so much happened, there's no way I'm going to try to recap everything, so here's a quick and dirty synopsis. During the episode Artie realized that being in his wheelchair made him the person who would end up being the glue that kept New Directions together, Kurt got a surprise visit from Burt and Blaine, Jake and Puck got their families to bond over the fact that they were all abandoned by their deadbeat dad, Sam and Brittany got married because of the Mayan apocalypse, and Sue once again was reminded of the spirit of Christmas and ended up donating a ton of stuff (including lots of loose cash) to Marley and her mother.

Now, I'll admit that I was instantaneously on alert when the episode switched over to black and white because I was sure it was going to be a trainwreck. Thankfully, the Wonderful Life vignette played better than it had any right to because it was the source of some fun callbacks, and who doesn't love an alternate timelime story? Admittedly, it may have been a tad too treacly and heavy-handed, but that's Glee for you.

Jake and Puck's story was oddly sweet since it revolved around the fact that they were screwed over by the same person, but it also felt like an excuse for them to sing "Oh Chanukah" on the Paramount lot and to make up to all of the Jewish viewers for forgetting about Puck's background during the last two Christmas episodes. Plus, it gave Puck a reason to come back to Ohio which mean he'll be trolling the halls of McKinley to do "research" for his screenplay. All's well that end's well I suppose.

The Sam/Brittany and Sue/Marley vignettes were almost too silly to take seriously. Of course the two dimmest characters are going to believe in the Mayan apocalypse because why wouldn't they. By the way, I'm already over the end of the world jokes. As for the latter, how many times are we going to watch Sue's heart grow two sizes? I'm all for Christmas teaching people how to be better and more generous, but it starts losing meaning when the reset button's hit every year. I guess to be fair, Sue was the one who was giving last year since she volunteered at the soup kitchen, but then that makes things even more muddled. But once again, that's Glee for you.

Sloppy writing aside, the worst part of the episode took place in New York (shocker, right). Don't get me wrong, Burt and Blaine dropping in to surprise Kurt was sweet, but the Big Apple went ahead and ruined another character by giving Burt cancer. What?!?! Look, people feel for a kicked puppy but the writers are just piling on the Hummel clan at this point and for no good reason. Seriously, what does the show gain by giving Burt cancer at this point? A dead spouse/mother, being bullied, surviving a heart attack, and having to deal with a friend's attempted suicide is not enough? It's not even the cancer that I object to (Glee has been running out of hot button issues), but I was irked the fact that it was inflicted on one of the show's most beloved characters, and it gives Kurt another challenge to overcome on his road to sainthood. It doesn't help that I no longer care about Kurt anymore but now I have to. It's all so manipulative.

Other Odds and Ends:

• I actually liked how Finn and Rachel were only bit players this time around.
• So, if Blaine never met does that me he never left Dalton and probably ended up winning at least two national championships? Does that mean that the real timeline is truly the darkest?
• I miss Terri. I never thought I'd say that before.
• Not gonna lie. Rachel as a librarian's kind of hot.
• Please don't tell me that Blaine's going to follow Kurt... again!
• Brittany must be loaded!
• Beiste is awesome.
• Musical Highlight: "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"
• "Quinn texts and drives in every timeline, Artie."
• "It was inevitable. Here in Hollywood and you're a Jew or a gay, you basically got it made."
• "We should probably still call the police."
• Ms. Rose: "I wanted to say thank you for what you did for Marley and me."
  Sue: "I have no idea what you're talking about. I had nothing to do with the making of that film."

Honestly, "Glee, Actually" probably was not as big of a disappointment as I initially made out. It had some nice, heartwarming moments along with some fun and silly ones, and it did work within a general framework of continuity. But I cannot shake the feeling that this episode could have been so much more.

Last Episode: "Swan Song" >>

<< Next Episode: "Sadie Hawkins"

TV Report Card: Week of December 2, 2012

I was so behind on my television watching that I didn't have time to put together a full fledged TV Report Card this time around (and for a second there I wasn't sure if I was going to post one at all). I know, I'm the worst.

Sunday
The Walking Dead: "Made to Suffer"
For a mid-season finale, "Made to Suffer" didn't have the pop of last year's but it was still an improvement over most of what we got in Season 2. I thought the assault on Woodbury was decent enough, and I really liked Carl's role this time around, but I could've done without Michonne and the Governor brawling. GRADE: B

Homeland: "Two Hats"
Boy did Homeland cause an uncalled for ruckus? I for one didn't hate "Two Hats," but what do I know. Sure it was silly but I don't tend to watch the show so closely that I get distracted by the implausibilities. Was it great? No. Heck, it wasn't even all that good but Homeland didn't deserve the backlash either. GRADE: C+

Monday
How I Met Your Mother: "Lobster Crawl"
To some extent I can overlook the stalling and how unfunny this show has become because it has far worse sins, namely ruining Robin as a character. She's no longer the independent, strong woman that Ted stole a blue French horn for. Nope, now she's a stereotypical "want what you can't have" crazy person. What a shame. GRADE: D

Castle: "Secret Santa"
I guess having a dead Santa was kind of entertaining, but this one didn't quite click for some reason. I guess it had to do with Rick's over-enthusiasm for Christmas and Kate's Scrooge-ness that didn't sit well with me. It could be argued that they were in character but it felt lazy. GRADE: C+

Tuesday
Ben and Kate: "The Trip"
I thought that the reason for Kate and Will's fight (and possible break-up) was weak because we've seen it all before, but I did like that we got a BJ/Tommy story that had little to nothing to do with what the Foxes were up to. GRADE: B-

Hart of Dixie: "Sparks Fly"
After an unintentional absence due to my oversight, Hart of Dixie's back on the Report Card with an OK episode. The farcical nature of the bachelor auction probably wasn't needed, but it did create some funny moments. I just don't know how I feel about Zoe and Wade at this point. GRADE: B-

Happy Endings: "P&P Romance Factory"
Penny's trouble with men has gotten stale, but I liked everything else especially Brad going off the deep end while being a cliched trophy wife.

Go On: "The World Ain't Over 'Til It's Over"
I could watch Ryan and Anne trade barbs all day, but the rest of the episode left a sour taste in my mouth. I didn't buy that Yolanda and Sonia would care enough to sabotage Wyatt's proposal, and I don't think Mr. K's strong enough to head up his own story as this point. GRADE: C+

New Girl: "Bathtub"
Still don't care about Schmidt and Cece, and unfortunately the rare Jess/Winston sub-plot didn't quite gel either. Thankfully, we got more Jake Johnson genius and Olivia Munn as a stripper. GRADE: B-

Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23: "Whatever it Takes..."
Usually, I don't complain about little things but watching an episode that was clearly from Season 1 was distracting. Luckily, JVDB was back in DTWS mode (and we found out how he became close to June's mother), but everything else was too out of place to ignore. GRADE: C+

The New Normal: "Baby Proofing"
I liked the fact that Bryan was not in soapbox mode and in my life is about to change mode because it suits him better. As does a less politically incorrect version of Jane. Didn't care for David though because his obsession with safety felt out of character. GRADE: B

Wednesday
Arrow: "Vendetta"
Even though they rushed the Huntress arc, and it was accompanied with some horrible acting on both parts, I have to admit that I liked what they did. As for all of the stuff going on around Oliver and Helena, I could've done with out most of it (i.e. Tommy and Laurel). GRADE: B-

Nashville: "Where He Leads Me"
I'm still digging the new direction that Nashville's heading in. Juliette's more interesting when she's not boffing Deacon (the same's true for him) and I kind of like her QB boyfriend. I wasn't jazzed about the proposal but I'll roll with it since she's up to something. I even liked the continuation of the young'uns love triangle which is rare. Let's just ignore the political stuff, OK? GRADE: B

American Horror Story: Asylum: "Unholy Night"
Ian McShane as a Santa suit wearing serial killer. That is all. GRADE: B+

Thursday
The Vampire Diaries: "We'll Always Have Bourbon Street"
I'm still over Damon and Elena. I still hate her. And I still love Caroline when she's not tied at the hip with Tyler. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this one. GRADE: C

Glee: "Swan Song"
I didn't love or hate "Swan Song"... I just didn't really care about it at all. It spent way too much time in New York pretending that it's a magical place where somewhat talented people have their dreams come true with little to no effort while putting the more interesting collapse of New Directions on the back burner. Yawn. GRADE: C+

Elementary: "You Do It To Yourself"
I'm never going to turn down learning more about Sherlock and Watson, so the issues she had with her ex were good enough to establish her character. I just wish this show would incorporate more interesting cases week in and week out. GRADE: C+

Friday
Nikita: "Sideswipe"
We all knew that Sonya was the mole, so I'm glad they got it out of the way even if it only introduced another insider. At least Amanda's a more entertaining villain than she was last season, and I liked the introduction of Cyrus. As for Alex's return to drugs and Sean... moving on. GRADE: B

As you can see, no 30 Rock this week because I still haven't watched the latest episode. Again, I'm the worst. Sorry.

Episode Review: GLEE, "Swan Song"

I've defended plenty of sub-par episodes of Glee over the years and even hated a few, but "Swan Song" was the first one to disappoint me. It wasn't enough of a hot mess or filled with enough emotion to elicit much of response out of me, with the exception of frustration, and that's sometimes worse than being out-right bad.

New Directions lost its first Sectionals ever due to Marley's fainting spell on stage, and Finn had to deal with the fallout. Sue commandeered the choir room, the glee club was without a place to rehearse or a competition to prep for, and everyone went their separate ways in order to fill their need to compete. Along the way, Sam finally came clean about his feelings towards Brittany. She was initially hesitant because she didn't want him to feel the wrath of the lesbian blogger community, but she eventually realized that he's the only one to make her happy since Santana broke up with her. In New York, Rachel won some important competition while Kurt got an impromptu NYADA audition and magically got in.

First off, I want to thank Glee for helping me realize how easy it is to make it New York City. Since day one, Rachel and Kurt have had everything pretty much handed to them with minimal struggle and it's getting kind of old. Sorry, Rachel getting toughed up by Cassandra doesn't count as struggle since no one's tossed a frozen beverage in her face. Heck, even Brody got his kiss after being a man whore. Look, I get that Glee exists in a world where everyone's dreams come true but Rachel and Kurt's good fortune with little effort is getting ridiculous, and I'm starting to be taken out of the NYC moments because the whole point of the show is to root for the dreamers and it's hard to do that when they're stumbling into success. This is how disgruntled Homeland viewers must feel like.

Maybe the reason why I reacted so poorly to NYADA this week had to do with the fact that it once again cut into the stories that I actually care about. Finn having to figure out how to keep the glee club alive after such a devastating defeat should have dominated the hour, but it took a backseat to Rachel's TWO solos during the winter watchamacallit and Kurt's by-the-seat-of-his-ugly-pants callback. Instead of spending time with Finn getting his wits together, he's relegated to collecting New Directions' trophies while his ex sang "O Holy Night." What the what? Thankfully for him she called and some of the Big Apple magic rubbed off because he would have never figured out how to get New Directions back together if it wasn't for her. Such a wasted opportunity. As was the fact that no one really seemed to care about what happened to Marley or how Kitty somehow side-stepped taking responsibility for her hand in it all. Hopefully, we'll be seeing her comeuppance soon, but oh how I doubt it.

As for Sam and Brittany, I've been on that ship since the start of the season because it's nice to see new pairings every now and again. I'm sure Brittany's right and this new couple will somehow get all of the Brittana shippers all riled up, but at least this one feels more organic and wasn't born out of a very funny joke. That said, it's odd that Sam has yet to address his relationship with Mercedes. It's like it never happened, and usually I wouldn't care, but it's jarring nonetheless. Regardless, they're cute together and will make adorable Aryan babies.

Other Odds and Ends:

• I know that this isn't going to happen, but I hope Glee sticks to its guns and keeps New Directions out of competitions for the rest of the season. It'd make things aimless for a bit but it's not like that'd be new territory for the show.
• Do you feel bad for Blaine, Kurt? Yes, he'd be going on to Regionals (and probably would've won multiple Nationals) if he stayed at Dalton and DIDN'T FOLLOW YOU TO McKINLEY! Ass hat.
• I always get a kick out of the Cheerio in the neck brace. I don't know why.
• Again, I don't usually nit-pick but wasn't the whole point of April Rhodes buying the auditorium to avoid New Directions being homeless ever again?
• I can't help but think that Brad's first words were wasted in this episode.
• Tina's become intolerable this season. Why keep her around if this is how you're going to use her?
• As annoying as this episode was, it was nicely shot. Like the cereal scene.
• I'll say it, the band just showing up is one of my favorite jokes.
• At this point, every OG has been either a football player, cheerleader or both. So much for being under dogs.
• Since it's post-Thanksgiving that means football season's over so Flynn joining the basketball team made sense.
• The Interfaith Paintball League was the greatest sight gag ever!
• I wonder if the dancer in the crazy get-up is going to be Rachel's new rival once Kate Kudson's contract is up.
• I'll never say no to a good Breakfast Club reference.
• Musical Highlight: "Don't Dream It's Over"
• "That's what I felt when I saw Prometheus."
• "Turns out glee club was really holding me back."
• "No, your lips are so soft and horizontal."
• "Tina, enough."

In some ways it's appropriate that this episode was called "Swan Song" because it was the first one that had me questioning my loyalty to the show and hoping that it would bow out. That's not to say I wouldn't watch and probably enjoy a fifth season, but it's not a good sign when Glee makes me feel like I wasted my time watching it, and that's what it did this time around.

Last Episode: "Thanksgiving" >>

<< Next Episode: "Glee, Actually"

TV Report Card: Week of November 25, 2012

Here is this week's TV Report Card:

Sunday
The Walking Dead: "When the Dead Come Knocking"

What Worked: As always, Rick and the prison worked for me. Even the silly cabin the woods scene was entertaining in its own way. But by far the best moment was one of the quiter ones as Carol and Rick shared that knowing glance in regards to Lori.

What Didn't Work: If the prison worked, that means Woodbury was once again the weakest link. I'll give it credit for the brutal interrogation scenes involving Merle and the Governor, but any goodwill was wasted on the boring Andrea and Milton subplot. Sure, it introduced some interesting questions but it took the wind out of the sails.

GRADE: B

Homeland: "Two Hats"

What Worked: I know that one of the cool things to do nowadays is to poke holes in Homeland's plot, but I thought that this was a decent enough episode. Nazir's plot and the taking down of his cell had enough tension (and I could appreciate them because I don't constantly nit-pick) and they helped keep things moving along. Ditto for Saul's fake interrogation.

What Didn't Work: While I'm not in the anti-Dana camp, I did find her annoying this time around, but then again she's always been annoying. I also could have done without Jess and Mike's sexy time because it was so telegraphed and anti-climactic. No pun intended.

GRADE: B

Monday
How I Met Your Mother: "Twelve Horny Women"

What Worked: Not much. I think I laughed a few times because of Brad's antics but that was about it. I suppose I also didn't hate the fake out involving Marshall but I'm so tired of this show trying to trick the audience.

What Didn't Work: There are certain standby gags that HIMYM insists on pulling out that just bore me to tears and one of them is the pointless competitions. I get the point behind these stupid games but I'm no longer entertained by them, so them trying to prove who was the biggest teenage bad-ass was a huge waste of my time. And that final bit about Robin re-thinking her feelings for Barney because he called off his pursuit was insulting.

GRADE: D

Tuesday
Ben and Kate: "Guitar Face"

What Worked: Even though this episode was Sitcom Writing 101, it was still successful at being a competent episode. Usually, I'm not a fan of the lead picking apart their new significant other as a way to protect him/herself, but Dakota Johnson can do anything in her own awkward way and win me over. And as always, I'm not opposed to more Geoff Stults. Man, I miss The Finder.

What Didn't Work: As much credit as I gave Dakota Johnson, the rest of the episode was a little too formulaic. While I got a laugh from Ben and Tommy, their story was very familiar and didn't bring anything all that new. As for BJ, she was downright dreadful and I'm shocked that people still think that she's the best part of this show.

GRADE: B-

Go On: "Back, Back, Back... It's Gone!"

What Worked: I was really excited when it looked like Carrie was going to play a major role in this episode but was even more upset when she was once again tossed aside for more Ryan and Lauren moments. That said, her presence alone was enough to keep me happy, and the episode subverted the Ryan and Lauren stuff just enough to keep it from being trite.

What Didn't Work: The rest of the subplots involving Sonia, Danny and George were decent enough, but I would have rather traded one of their stories in favor of more time with Carrie and Ryan. I know I'm getting repetative, but why does this show hate Allison Miller so much?

GRADE: B-

New Girl: "Eggs"

What Worked: Nick Miller's probably the funniest character on television right now and he's even better when he's teamed up with Winston. Those two had me rolling all episode long, but they also had a very human story that I could relate to. I still want Winston to be his own character, but I'll always be in favor of him being Nick's source of wisdom.

What Didn't Work: I haven't been loving Jess this season and her story about her biological clock ticking was OK but far from great. Even Cece's part didn't quite land because it felt like something we've seen a billion times before. Also, I don't care about Schmidt's sex life or the fact that he's in love with Cece. That ship's sailed.

GRADE: B+

The New Normal: "The XY Factor"

What Worked: I'm nowhere close to being a father, but even I could understand where Bryan was coming from when it came to the gender of his unborn child, and the added angst made the character even more sympathetic, so I couldn't help but smile when he realized that he could be a good father to a son.

What Didn't Work: Even though I thought that Goldie's story line worked this week, and I was happy that she's been given some direction, my beef has more to do with the fact that she's floundered for most of this season. The character really hasn't had much to do besides putting up with her wacky family, and there were even moments when she was nothing more than a prop. I hope we get more stuff from her moving forward; if not then I'll be convinced that Ryan Murphy hates blonde, pregnant women. Or he cannot write for them at the very least.

GRADE: B

Wednesday
Arrow: "Muse of Fire"

What Worked: I like the idea of Helena Bertinelli but we'll have to wait to see about the execution. Her introduction was decent enough, although I couldn't remember if her family's been a major player up until this point or if it was just introduced, and I'm glad that Oliver's been given a romantic foil for now because the rest of the characters are not pulling their weight in the love department.

What Didn't Work: So, that last comment had to do with the fact that I still do not care about Laurel and Tommy. His courtship was not cute, and the only positive this story brought to the table was the fact that Captain Jack's his father. Also, has the acting always been this bad? I know that Stephen Amell's chops haven't quite been there all season long, but it felt like everyone was too busy chewing scenery.

GRADE: B-

Modern Family: "When a Tree Falls"

What Worked: Luke got a few chuckles out of me, and the Phil/Jay combination's usually works for me but that was about it.

What Didn't Work: Cam in a tree was stupid. Cam in Cats was stupid. Mitchell giving in to Cam was stupid. Claire and Gloria at Costco was stupid. Alex trying to humiliate Haley was slightly less stupid but far more insidious and not very fun. At this point, I'm done writing about Modern Family. I'm just tied of writing the exact same thing over and over again, and I'm those few people who read these entries are just as burnt out on my indifference. I'll keep watching it, and I might add it back to the Report Card if it improves but that's doubtful based on the last two and half seasons. I just cannot do it anymore.

GRADE: D

American Horror Story: Asylum: "Dark Cousin"

What Worked: Maybe I've become desensitized but this episode did not seem as frantic as previous installments. The angel of death was a nice touch which was used quite effectively and I hope this was not the only time we got to see her. And there were some good performances as usual.

What Didn't Work: While I thought Sarah Paulson did a great job during the episode, I didn't care for the curve ball that was thrown at us after she escaped from Bloody Face's lair. I understand that they needed to get her back to Briarcliff (sort of), but having her get away from one monster just to encounter another was a little silly.

GRADE: B

Nashville: "Lovesick Blues"

What Worked: If the last two episodes are an indication of the new direction Nashville's going in, then I'm going to be a happier camper because I thought that this was another solid episode. Having Rayna and Juliette ditch their love triangle with Deacon in favor of actually making music has been a breath of fresh air.
Leave the lovey dovey angst to Gunner and Scarlet.

What Didn't Work: Do I really have to write it? Fine. Nothing will ever make me care about the mayoral campaign storyline. Nothing at all. It even upset me even more because the supposed clean Carlisle decided to jump in the mud with Rayna's husband (I honestly don't know his name at this point). Just horrible stuff all around.

GRADE: B+

Thursday
The Vampire Diaries: "My Brother's Keeper"

What Worked: As much as The Vampire Diaries has frustrated me this season, I still enjoy plent of aspects of the show. For one, I love Caroline Forbes. Love her. So, seeing her tear into Elena for being an idiot was amazing and made up for everything else in one single swoop. And I'll admit that my Caroline/Stefan shipper tendencies are speaking for me, but that's fine by me. Something else I liked, Jeremy stabbing Elena in the neck.

What Didn't Work: As you can see, I still hate Elena. She has never been my favorite thing about TVD and so far she's made me question why I'm still watching. Her damsel in distress routine's getting old because she insists on doing stupid things to get herself into trouble. I cannot have sympathy for a character like that. As for her romp with Damon? Yawn. I'm just glad they decided to pull the rug from under us by blaming a sire bond. That should make Dalena fans happy.

GRADE: C

30 Rock: "Mazel Tov, Dummies!"

What Worked: I guess the idea of Liz Lemon finally getting married has entertainment value, but I would've liked to have seen it be taken seriously. Sure, this was a 30 Rock wedding but still. Honestly, my favorite moments had to do with Jenna which surprised me since I don't like her, but watching her and Jack realize how their aging was bittersweet..

What Didn't Work: I honestly cannot think of why we needed Tracy around this week. To be fair, his story went along with the rest of the episode's theme but having him on his own can be a tricky thing to pull off, and unfortunately he didn't stick the landing.

GRADE:

Glee: "Thanksgiving"

What Worked: Much like The Walking Dead and Nashville, it's going to be easy to figure out how I felt about Glee. The stuff that revolved around McKinley and Sectionals worked for me because it was a good mix of old and new. Having the graduates come back to mentor the newbies was a good idea that I wish had developed more but it felt like Glee was successfully blending its two generations...

What Didn't Work: But then we had to go to New York to see what Rachel and Kurt were up to and all of the momentum was lost. Once again, I don't care about NYC and I don't know what Murphy and Co. have to do in order to get me invested. Having characters constantly going back and forth won't work but something needs to happen. And who cares what a Kiki is?

GRADE: B-

Elementary: "The Long Fuse"

What Worked: For the first time in a long time I was not bored by the case-of-the-week. Dr. Cuddy playing a hooker who tried to bomb her own business was entertaining enough to keep me from wandering off, and I liked how Lisa Edelstein once again played a character smitten with a Sherlock-ain character. I'd say she was in to the real deal, but we all know that Miller's version is as much Holmes as Dr. House was. Police stuff aside, I also appreciated the Sherlock and Joan moments as she prepped him for her departure. We all know she's not going anywhere but the idea of breaking them up was intriguing.

What Didn't Work: Even though I wasn't bored by this week's case, the procedural nature's still the show's biggest drawback. I don't expect CBS to stray from what it works, but Elementary's still not doing enough to make it standout from the rest of its ilk. Castle and Bones are just as by-the-book as this show, but there's enough unique elements to set them apart. Right now, Sherlock Holmes isn't enough to make Elementary more than what it's supposed to be.

GRADE: B-

Friday
Nikita: "The Sword's Edge"

What Worked: I got a kick out of this week's mission, but I found myself caught up more in the Alex and Owen moments. Now, I don't need Nikita to be bogged down in relationships, but the idea of Alex and Owen's far more interesting than her with Sean because Lyndsy Fonseca has way more chemistry with Sawa than she does with the other guy. Also, how good was Sawa in that interrogation scene?

What Didn't Work: I'm getting a little burned out with all of the distrust going around Division, and I felt that Ryan's getting an unfair shake since no one really knows how to run a covert, black ops outfit for good and not evil. But that's a minor quibble.

GRADE: B